The Stools

STOOLS FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

WHY ARE THE STOOLS' EARLY ALBUMS SO HARD TO FIND IN THE UNITED STATES?
Due to the large number of record companies involved (some of which, thankfully, have gone out of business) The Stools early catalog has been very hard for U.S. fans to find. Most fans have had the best luck haunting the 'Import' racks of their favorite, non-chain, CD store.

The good news is, Dutchco Records has started a program of reissuing the old stuff, along the lines of Rykodiscs reissue of Elvis Costello's early works. That is; original artwork and contents, plus new liner notes and extended play songs from the same time period as the album.

The bad news, labels like Cherry Stem in Boston keeps coming out with best of ripoffs like their "Meet the Stools", which is packaged to look like the Stools' long deleted debut album "Meat the Stools", but contains a number of non-album tracks the band recorded for the radio, and live tracks that were recorded, of all places, on a boat in Boston harbor.

IS FOUNDING MEMBER COSMO DITMAR REALLY DEAD?
Yes, The Stools guitarist died in L.A. from complications after the over-use of a tanning bed. The tanning bed worked like a giant microwave and he literally cooked his internal organs from the inside out. The band took almost two years off after his passing, but came back as strong as ever (Some say, stronger!)

DID THE STOOLS REALLY MAKE A PORNO MOVIE?
Yes. They were asked to supply the soundtrack for an adult movie being filmed in the Singapore called "I Got No Worries As Long As I Can Lay Some Pipe", and after recording seven new songs for the film, they made a brief cameo, playing live, in the movie's bar scene. Elvin and Bolt got a little too wrapped up in the spirit of the shoot, and also can be found in the movies obligatory orgy scene.

The Video can also be found in the U.K. under the titles "Pipe Fitters", "Plumber's Help" and "All Live, Hot, Nude Stools Sex Show!".

WHY ARE THE STOOLS REALLY HUGE IN ASIA?
Genetics. The shortest Stool, Crunch, stand a good five inches taller that the average Asian adult.

But seriously, The Stools, along with the rest of the world, were shocked to find out that the kids in Tienimen Square were playing, among other things, a large number of Stools tapes, before the tanks rolled in. Thanks in part to a large Asian black market in bootleg tapes, and the band's overwhelming popularity with service men in Hong Kong, The Stools are one of China's number one music acts, although the band has never toured the country.

HAS THE BAND BROKEN UP?
Yes, over a hundred times, but as of this writing, they are together again. Following the death of Cosmo, Elvin broke his knee cap, and the band was put on hold for a while, but as I said before, they are back, and bigger than ever.

IS THERE A DRUG PROBLEM IN THE BAND?
When Elvin broke his knee he tried to float the rumor that his was really in detox for a dope addiction because he thought it sounded cooler, but other than drinking far too much, this office is unaware of any drug use what so ever by the band.

IS IT TRUE ANTONIO MORETTI WAS ARRESTED IN 1995 FOR EXPOSING HIMSELF TO AN UNDERCOVER COP AT A REST AREA IN TEXAS, JUST HOURS BEFORE HE WAS SCHEDULED TO PREFORM BEFORE A CONVENTION OF POLICE CHIEFS IN FORT WORTH?
No, that was country singer Ty Herdon.

IS IT TRUE THAT CREASURE WAS ARRESTED IN 1969 FOR TAKING "INDECENT LIBERTIES" WITH A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL, ONLY TO BE PARDON BY PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER IN 1981?
No, that was Peter Yarrow of the folk group Peter, Paul & Mary.

IS IT TRUE THAT BACK IN 1976 BO SHOT AND KILLED HIS LONG TIME LOVER, SPIDER SABICH, IN ASPEN, COLORADO?
No, that was Andy Williams' wife Claudine Longet. I honestly don't know how these stories get started.

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